I have NO IDEA why I thought I'd commented this already. Buuut, I have this to say: This is somewhat why I want you to read this book, I might just send it to you before I finish it and before I have a CD prepared, because I'm tired of the wait! Anyway, the woman had a fucking PhD, it goes through her years and years of medical school, psychology based, blah blah. And she refused to believe she needed the medicine, despite knowing as a doctor that if she were to have a patient with the disorder, they would absolutely need it. She went back and forth, tried lithium and said it fucked her up to the point that she could barely read, felt like she was a zombie, and so on. Sooo, she would regularly just stop taking it because she hated the way she felt on it, inevitably have these times of mania, followed by intense suicidal depression, and then someone would convince her to take her meds again. My mom tells me that she eventually was put on a lower dosage of it, so she could function regularly, because her biggest thing was that she missed the mania, saying it was great for creativity and productivity but she'd have these weird bouts of like... buying completely asinine things, inconsequential, was in a lot of debt because of it, blah blah. This comment is really long, but seriously, remember when I started taking those diet pills during that time that I was ridiculousulousulously depressed? And they worked as somewhat of a mood stabilizer, to the point that when I ran out, I really really wanted anti-depressants? I'm just saying, there's nothing wrong with drugs. I REALLY wish I still had those pills. My brain has a chemical imbalance that I think would be a lot less emotionally exhausting were I to seek out treatment. It's something you can't control, you know? I hated medication of that sort for a really long time, because I do think its over-prescribed and without merit a lot of the time, but this is something that affects your livelihood, you know? I mean, just in MY stupid depression attacks, my life becomes in complete disarray, I can't even function, even you were scared that last time. SO BASICALLY IN THIS NINETY LEAGUES OF A COMMENT, what I'm saying is, I don't think there's anything wrong with medication and I think if it could help you, it might be doing yourself justice to seek it out and attempt it at least. I know you have before, but maybe just get a low dosage like that woman did and see how it goes? I don't know. I'm just typing everything right now, but I can't bare to think of these things you can't control. Like the other day when you were upset because you had no idea why you were in such a terrible mood. That's normal, but it's such a suffocating feeling, you know? I'd eat the drugs like candy if they offered a solution, personally.
OKAY ANYWAY. DO NOT HIDE THOSE TIMES FROM ME, I LIKED SEEING YOU THAT WAY. Take you as you are, baby. I love it all.
God this is over now. Your phone better be back on soon or I will dehydrate EVEN MORE.
2 comments:
I have NO IDEA why I thought I'd commented this already. Buuut, I have this to say: This is somewhat why I want you to read this book, I might just send it to you before I finish it and before I have a CD prepared, because I'm tired of the wait! Anyway, the woman had a fucking PhD, it goes through her years and years of medical school, psychology based, blah blah. And she refused to believe she needed the medicine, despite knowing as a doctor that if she were to have a patient with the disorder, they would absolutely need it. She went back and forth, tried lithium and said it fucked her up to the point that she could barely read, felt like she was a zombie, and so on. Sooo, she would regularly just stop taking it because she hated the way she felt on it, inevitably have these times of mania, followed by intense suicidal depression, and then someone would convince her to take her meds again. My mom tells me that she eventually was put on a lower dosage of it, so she could function regularly, because her biggest thing was that she missed the mania, saying it was great for creativity and productivity but she'd have these weird bouts of like... buying completely asinine things, inconsequential, was in a lot of debt because of it, blah blah. This comment is really long, but seriously, remember when I started taking those diet pills during that time that I was ridiculousulousulously depressed? And they worked as somewhat of a mood stabilizer, to the point that when I ran out, I really really wanted anti-depressants? I'm just saying, there's nothing wrong with drugs. I REALLY wish I still had those pills. My brain has a chemical imbalance that I think would be a lot less emotionally exhausting were I to seek out treatment. It's something you can't control, you know? I hated medication of that sort for a really long time, because I do think its over-prescribed and without merit a lot of the time, but this is something that affects your livelihood, you know? I mean, just in MY stupid depression attacks, my life becomes in complete disarray, I can't even function, even you were scared that last time. SO BASICALLY IN THIS NINETY LEAGUES OF A COMMENT, what I'm saying is, I don't think there's anything wrong with medication and I think if it could help you, it might be doing yourself justice to seek it out and attempt it at least. I know you have before, but maybe just get a low dosage like that woman did and see how it goes? I don't know. I'm just typing everything right now, but I can't bare to think of these things you can't control. Like the other day when you were upset because you had no idea why you were in such a terrible mood. That's normal, but it's such a suffocating feeling, you know? I'd eat the drugs like candy if they offered a solution, personally.
OKAY ANYWAY. DO NOT HIDE THOSE TIMES FROM ME, I LIKED SEEING YOU THAT WAY. Take you as you are, baby. I love it all.
God this is over now. Your phone better be back on soon or I will dehydrate EVEN MORE.
Jesus Christo. That comment is longer than your blog. I'm embarrassing.
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